Saturday, May 3, 2014

A Mom's Thoughts on Survival

Originally, this was just a random post on my facebook page. I mean, it really did happen. I almost didn't post it, but I knew I had friends who were also survivors of breast cancer, and maybe they needed to know what other survivors go through.
I always had this fear- what about when my daughter finally asks about my scars? Will she be scared? Will she be afraid of having to go through the same thing? Do other mothers feel the same way?
Being a mother is the most awesome, most important thing I have ever done. It is also the hardest.
My thoughts:

I almost didn't share this, but for my friends who are also survivors I am. Yesterday Haley pointed to my scar (OK one of them...ok the worst many)and she asked what happened. I told her that a long time ago I got really sick and almost died and the dr. had to make that scar to get out what was making me sick and save me.She asked first (of course) did I get shots (HA!) so I said yes for many, many months I got a lot of them. She thought awhile and asked if she would get sick like me....So I thought a while and I said no- that doctors know a lot more now than they did back then so if she gets sick it won't be so bad. She was satisfied with that. I always wondered what I would say when she asked. We survivors know- you fight the battle always- every time you see the scars. And there are so many feelings- mostly bad. But that conversation was like a healing for my heart. It finally told my soul that I've moved on. I'm not who I used to be (not a bad thing). But those scars are a part of who I am now. It just is what it is. I can't explain it but I hope my survivor friends get it. I hope it lifts you up. I can't explain it, but it did me a lot of good to have that conversation with my child. It reminded me that those scars aren't who I am- they are a reminder of what I can overcome- but the real me-- her mama-- those scars can't touch that. I finally get that. Finally

I'd love to hear what other survivors have to say. What is this part of the journey like for you?

No comments:

Post a Comment