Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Great Southern Bread & Milk Migration

I just don't see it happening this time, OK?

It's happening again. For the second time this month the weather gurus are warning of an impending ice storm.  Last week it was Iago. Sounds scary, huh? Yeah. It sleeted for about 15 minutes, threw a little snow into the mix and went on its merry always. The fact is, it rarely snows (sleets, etc.) here in our part of the south. When you watch the weather radar on TV, it looks as if the storms are moving in a huge circle- with us there in the "eye" of the circle- skies perfectly clear.  It looks like a big cloud donut.  And there we are- right in the center. Always. That's what I've come to call it- The Donut.
We get snow here once about every 10 years.  The last snows of significance were year before last. It was beautiful!  We even had a white Christmas!  We had a couple big snows that year.  A kid's dream come true!  (Mine, too!)  Snow is a big deal here in The Donut.  No school, roads are closed-- everything shuts down.  It's a much-needed mini vacation right smack in the doom and gloom of winter.  So do we love snow in the south? Heck yeah!
But, now...the bread and milk thing...I have no idea what is up with that. At the first mention of snow or ice, the grocery stores are filled with chaos.  The bread and milk aisles look like mid Alabama after tornado season. Neighbors who normally watch the game together every Sunday suddenly break into fist fights over the last loaf of bread.
 WHY does everyone go mad for bread and milk?  What is so special about that? Why not nachos and Coca Cola?  Do snow and ice trigger some innate southern craving for bread and milk? Not for me. My friends agree. We just don't get the southern bread and milk obsession. I asked my mom once- "What's the big deal?" She said, "Well, if the power goes out you can eat sandwiches and cereal."  I don't eat cereal on an ordinary day. Why would I eat it because it snowed? No power? Grill a steak or a burger.  You need to use that meat anyway, right? No power = no freezer.  I have a gas stove.  I have a wood stove that can be used for cooking. SO....I don't think I will join the great southern bread and milk migration.  Y'all just leave me out of it.  You'll find me on the chips and dip aisle. Or maybe looking for charcoal.
So once again, the Great Weather Powers that Be are warning of impending doom. This time in the form of an ice storm.  First, it was supposed to start tonight around 3am. Now they are saying it will start around 9 am and last until 12 noon.  By 3:00 it should be over 40 degrees. Not exactly the blizzard of '93, if you ask me.  I'm not trying to spoil anyone's fun, but I'm not rushing to grab my sled.  Not yet, anyway. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this time something really will happen.  I'd love a day off as much as the next chick. Still, I'm setting my alarm before I go to bed tonight.  (Just in case.)
As for bread and milk, y'all go on to Kroger without me.  No, wait- on second thought I believe I will buy a gallon of milk. I'll make some hot cocoa...with a generous splash of Kahlua. That can be my southern tradition.  The rest of y'all enjoy your bologna sandwiches, y'hear?

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